I cannot stress enough beloveds, the importance of strong families. Never neglect family ties, regardless of what religion family members have. Don’t even play around with it when it comes to strengthening and preserving the family. “O Mankind! Fear your Lord, who created you from one soul and created from it its mate and dispersed from both of them many men and women. And fear Allaah, through whom you ask one another, and the wombs. Indeed Allaah is ever, over you, an Observer”.When communities fall short, become fragmented, or fail, the religion can be preserved on the family by holding onto and passing down the values and teachings of faith to the next generation. and the next after that. When you invest in the family, what you end up with, in sha Allah is, generation after generation of eemaan. You can’t buy that at a halal store, you can’t download it from the internet, and you can’t mix it up in a mixing bowl. You have to strive for it, pray for it and make it a priority. In order to have strong believing families, you must build your immediate family structure upon belief in Allah and in His oneness (tawheed).
It is important from the very beginning that everyone in your immediate family; your wife, your children, and all other members of your household are aware without a doubt that the reigning law and source of order within your home, is Islam. With that in mind, you must establish the prescribed prayer with your family, your wife and the children of your household. Your children must see that you bow your head down to Allah sub’haanahu wa ta’ala. In doing so, they will know that you as parents, are accountable to Him (Allah). If they see that you are accountable to Allah, they will find it easier and more palatable to be accountable to you as parents. If there is no prayer in your home, then it is almost assured that Shaitaan will soon become the imam of your household.
It is the sunna of the Prophet (SAWS) to call yourself a Muslim. Therefore, try not to teach your children to attach themselves to tightly to a sectarian, or strict madhhabi designation such as, Shaafi’ee, Qaadiri, Tijaani, Tablighi, Salafi Hanbali, Maaliki, or any other designation. Teach them that they are Muslim. Even if you happen to follow a particular school of thought or a tariqa be it Shaafi’ee, or Maaliki, or Shaadhili, or if you ascribe to a group such as Salafi, or a Tablighi, or anything else, do not, and I repeat, do not teach your children that anything represents the totality of Islam, other than Islam. If you teach them that your group are the only true Muslims, or that if they follow this or that tariqa or madhhab, there Islam will be better than everyone else’s, then you will only confuse and mislead them; as many people are already doing.
The best of the companions of the Prophet (SAWS) loathed sectarianism and ran away from it. They sahaba never called the people to follow anything other than the way of Allah and the way of the Prophet (SAWS). They didn’t call themselves salafi, Shaafi’ee, Qaadiri, or any other designation except Muslims. Don’t be fooled beloved; in today’s global environment, people who raise their children based upon a particular sect are just experimenting; there is no evidence that such a thing has worked. We don’t pray to grandpa in America; that’s someone else’s path. The true religion of Allah will always be Islam and the only one of our ummah who is ma’soom (free of error) is Muhammad Ibn Abdullah, the Last Prophet (SAWS). Teach your children to live according to the Quran and the Sunna beloveds, anything else is just someone else’s experimentation, for which Allah has revealed no authority.
Claiming the religion of Islam as your religion has more depth, longevity, and spiritual potency than any of the other sectarian additions to it. This is because Islam, in its pure form is sanctioned from above seven heavens and is supported by the authority of wahy (divine revelation) .
إِنَّ الدِّينَ عِندَ اللّهِ الإِسْلاَمُ وَمَا اخْتَلَفَ الَّذِينَ أُوْتُواْ الْكِتَابَ إِلاَّ مِن بَعْدِ مَا جَاءهُمُ الْعِلْمُ بَغْيًا بَيْنَهُمْ
“The Religion before Allah is Islam (submission to His Will): And the People of the Book did not differ except through envy of each other, after knowledge had come to them. But if any deny the Signs of Allah, Allah is swift in calling to account”.
The Prophet (SAWS) was, without a doubt, sent to all of mankind, as Allah states:;
قُلْ يَا أَيُّهَا النَّاسُ إِنِّي رَسُولُ اللّهِ إِلَيْكُمْ جَمِيعًا
“Say; O men! I am sent unto you all, as the Messenger of Allah”
The Prophet’s way and path of faith (sunna), is applicable for all Peoples and for all times. However, this or that sheikh, companion, taabi’ee, or imam , were not dispatched to all people as a mercy to mankind. Therefore, the cultural, ritual, and spiritual additions to our religion that are practiced elsewhere in the world, are not necessarily beneficial for American Muslim converts who wish to practice the religion in its pure, unadulterated form.
Most of the people who have convert to Islam, didn’t sign up for all the polemics, infighting and sectarianism that exists today. They didn’t envision that the ummah would become stagnated because we are too busy arguing and fighting over someone else’s point of view. It’s a shame that people come into Islam out of sincerity to worship Allah alone without partners and are almost immediately met with a litany of groups, scholars and positions that they are pressured to pay homage to, when in reality; people are only commanded to worship Allah Alone, and to make the religion for His sake only. .
وَمَا أُمِرُوا إِلَّا لِيَعْبُدُوا اللَّهَ مُخْلِصِينَ لَهُ الدِّينَ حُنَفَاء وَيُقِيمُوا الصَّلَاةَ وَيُؤْتُوا الزَّكَاةَ وَذَلِكَ دِينُ الْقَيِّمَةِ
“And they have been commanded no more than this: To worship Allah, offering Him sincere devotion, being true (in faith); to establish regular prayer; and to practice regular charity; and that is the Religion Right and Straight”.
The point is, that if you teach your children the truth, (the Quran and the sunna), you don’t have to spend a lot of time teaching them about all the falsehood that they may or may not encounter during their lifetime, or teaching them about all the different sects and ways that people do this or that. There is no end to the amount of falsehood, difference of opinion, deviant and orthodox ideology, and opinions in circulation amongst the Muslims. Of course as things come up, you may comment upon it to your kids, (if neccessary), or explain it to them but in most cases, children will depend upon the parent to simply raise them right and teach them correctly the first time. Their time on earth is limited just like ours, and the more truth they know (from the Kitaab and the Sunna) and the more they are aware of what is important; (prayer, fasting, family bonds, goodness to neighbors, charity, honesty, loyalty, taqwa, kindness, family, the Masjid, brotherhood, and so on), then the more time and energy they can devote to practicing it and preparing for their hereafter. There are so many aspects of deen that children grow up and know nothing about. Whether it is family issues, moral value issues, character issues, adaab issues, belief issues, fiqh issues, social issues, or simple lifestyle issues upon which Allah and His Messenger have rendered guidance.
The idea is to pass the religion and foundational knowledge of Islam down to your children in a way that will help them to remain firm in their faith, and in their practice of Islam, and not find themselves going from sub-ideology of Islam to another. Ultimately what you want for your family is generational continuity of Islam as a way of life. Or constantly questioning this and then questioning that, and questioning what they believe, every time something new comes on the scene, like many Muslims are doing today. It’s really a sad situation. When children are put upon firm and true deen from the very beginning, it is likely that they will not be swayed or moved by anything different. Whether it be a different madhhab, or a deviant ideology. You don’t want your children to end up being like the people who spend more time arguing about the deen, than they spend practicing it. Children are born in a state of fitrah, The Prophet (SAWS) said: “Each child is born in a state of fitrah, but his parents make him a Jew or a Christian”. Muslim parents have the opportunity and are charged with keeping their children upon the straight path that Allah has created them upon; the prophet (SAWS) reported about Allah be He Exalted and Glorified, that He said: “I created My servants in the right religion, but the devils made them go astray.” Children by their very nature are predisposed to take the path that their parents put them on. When they are exposed by the parents to too many different truths, or too many different religious ideologies, they will not be secure in their faith. Once they become insecure in their faith, they are likely to fall for anything.
Shaykh Abu Laith Luqman Ahmad
Imam Abu Laith Luqman Ahmad, a Philadelphia native, is the son of converts to Islam. He is a writer, a researcher and Imam of the Islamic Society of Folsom, in Northern California. He is a former executive committee member of the North America Imams Federation (NAIF), and the CEO of ‘Mosque Without Borders’, an organization that address Muslim sectarianism. He is also and the author of the new book, “Double Edged Slavery “, a critical and authoritative look at the condition of African American and convert Muslims in the United States, and the book: “The Devil’s Deception of the Modern Day Salafi Sect “, a look at the ideological underpinning of modern Salafist extremism. He blogs at imamluqman.wordpress.com, and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.