Part two of this sage will be released very soon in sha Allah. In the meantime, here’s part one, for those who missed it.
Johnny Haram was his name and making things haram was his game. Our story begins in a non-descript, one bedroom cottage on the west side, the light is dim (because it’s candlelight) Johnny had haramed electricity years ago, and there was no furniture in sight, except a simple cot in the middle of the floor, and there lay Johnny Haram. He was the chosen one, as he says. Chosen for the task of rooting out all the haram he can find in the Muslim ummah. Johnny was special; he didn’t go after the clear haram things like people selling drugs or abusing their families, or homosexuality, and lewd behavior. Johnny liked to go after the hidden haram in things; he believed that there is some haram in everything that American Muslims do, and that it was his job, his destiny, to find it, and haram it.
In the corner was a stack of books, Johnny was fond…
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